Jeffrey Shears, The Fatherhood CoMission 

‘Generation to Generation’  

Since there is no manuscript for fatherhood, what influences your fathering attitude and style. If you are like me, you have found yourself saying things or interacting with your child with a response that makes you sound like your dad. It’s important to reflect on the father we had as a child and the type of father we long to be. Making this connection allows us to make some corrections or improve the type of father we wish to be. 

In my own situation, my father always took my brother and I to church. Never just sent us but I saw him actively engaged. As I have grown to understand his impact, I choose to mirror this and do the same with my children. 

It’s equally important to reflect on things your dad gave you that you do not want to pass on to your children. For me it was my father’s physical absence as a child. My dad saw his fathering role as a provider and disciplinarian. As a result, he worked long hours to fulfill his role as a provider. As a result of his work schedule, I would go days without seeing my dad although we lived in the same house. I do not want to pass this absence to my children and have been intentional about career choices that would allow me to have more daily interactions with my children. 

Lastly, also think about what was missing from your relationship with your father as a child and be intentional about ensuring that you provide this to your own children. My dad had all boys, and he was serious about raising “responsible men”. I appreciate him for that yet I do not ever remember him telling me he loved me or being affectionate. Because of this, I have intentionally been physically and verbally affectionate with my children. 

What an influence we can have as dads as we adjust and improve from generation to generation!   

Join ISI Founder, Brian Doyle, this Saturday at 8:30 AM ET / 7:30 AM CT for a short 45 minute fatherhood training on being the ‘Prophet and Priest of Your Home’. More at

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