Brian Doyle

The Apostle Paul actually writes to ‘children’ in his letter to the Ephesians. In the first verse of Chapter six he writes; “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

This is not just ‘obey your parents’ but rather ‘obey your parents in the Lord’ This equates to obeying your mother and father as you would obey the Lord of the Universe. This is critical for children to understand and thus parents must help the child connect the dots on this principle.
The reality is that obedience to all authority (God, teachers, coaches, police, employer, etc) for children starts with obedience to parents in the home. Paul instructs that this obedience be a ‘respectful obedience’ and so he follows verse 1 with verse 2:  

Ephesians 6:2 “Honor your father and mother”. Obedience inside and outside the home must be accompanied with a respectful attitude. What might this look like for a child? Here are some tips for dads to consider to move toward this result:

1. Eye Contact. Fathers would be wise to make eye contact with and address their children by name before they even begin to give them instruction. The child’s first responsibility is to ‘honor the parent’ by turning and looking at them and making eye contact.
2. Verbal Confirmation. Parents and especially dads are then encouraged to communicate the instruction or direction clearly and directly to the child. The child’s second responsibility is to verbally confirm that they have heard, understood and will comply with the father’s instruction. This is more than a nod or a shrug but is a respectful, ‘Yes, Dad’.
3. Immediate Obedience. The child’s third responsibility is to now immediately obey the parent’s instruction or direction. Although age appropriate, this is not a time for negotiation but rather a time for action. First time obedience is the only right response to the authority – the parent. Every other response is disobedience. The psalmist illustrates this principle of first time, immediate obedience to authority: Psalm 119: 60 “I hasten and do not delay to keep your commands’. .